I felt the burn on every inch of my heart.


Hello.


Everything is back to normal. Eh I mean it looks like everything is back to normal. The truth is, everything is soo fucked up and I don't know what to think, how to feel, what to do or say even. It's like the moment you think everything will turn out okay, not perfect but better than before then BAM!, everything crumbles down. The minute you think you have the best friends, the best lover, a good life, it all fucking seem to go away. I don't know why. It fucking just fly away, or zoom away. I mean like haihhhhh..


So. You know the explanation thing he said he is giving me. Well yeah, he gave me one, a few. It's not really legit, doesn't really make sense, I want to believe it but I don't think I should just yet. He himself tho, is trying to make things right again? I don't know. I had known him for like a year now, and he had done the same mistake once, twice. Just like this one. Disappointing. I'm not pushing him away, at least not yet. He once said, he will never hurt me, at least not with intentions. I guess the one who said they won't hurt you is the one you know they will do.


On the other hand. I think I'm slowly becoming this cold-hearted, sharp-tongued, rude and I'm doing this thing where I will do every possible thing to try and hurt the person who cares, who matters, who stick with me through thick and thin. The main thing is, I'm cold. I may seem all the bubbly person I was and still am, i think, but yeah I'm cold. Like the Ice Queen. Fuck. I don't like it but no, I can't do anything about it.


 It's not the end, if everything is not yet okay. 
It's not the end, when everything is falling apart. 
It's not the end when you're not here wrapping your arms around me.
It's not the end, until I say it is.