My life is not black and white. There has never been a thick line between right and wrong. Even if there is, it's feeble, thin, barely unrecognizable and never straight. You could say my life is (a hell lot more than) 50 shades of grey haha but without the sexual exposure. Not that I can tell. Not yet anyway. Hahaha jokes or not. Jokesss

My life is not black and white. Which is not difficult pun. Except when stuff I have been pushing to the pit of my mind surfaces. My life in general is good. I am fortunate. I am grateful, don't get me wrong. I am a good child sort of. I mean, as I get older, I get wiser and as I am no longer a permanent resident of the family house, I give less problem like all the other birds who have flown out to the world. Ha ha. Anyway, I am so frustrated. So, so frustrated. That, haih. Let me find words to say this tactfully. 

The pieces of life that I know belong to me, that is or should be mine are taken away from me. Everybody else's pieces of life, are taken away from them. And all I can do is watch everything being taken away. I do not know how to stop this. I want to but I don't know how. I don't know if everybody else wants to stop it as well. And if they are just as clueless as I am. But nobody is doing anything. All we can do is work our asses off, and see what we worked for being taken away.

We can't stop loving the taker, that is as much as I know. Oh how I hope the person know how much grieve the person has brought into the heart and mind of several people. Take me out of the equation as I don't think I'm important enough. I now carry the grieve of everybody else because somehow, I became the person people can tell stuff to. Maybe because I can't do anything about it. Maybe because I'm too young to judge. Maybe because I'm too naive to think from a different angle than what that I have been told. But all of them are grieving inside. Just like I am. All of them are supressing feelings into the pit of their mind. Just like I do. The only difference is, they don't know that I'm feeling the same thing too. 

Few years back, I hoped things would change. Now, I just hope time will get by faster so I could try to give back the things that were and still being taken away from all these people.

But you know, miracles do happen. And I want what's mine!